Nowadays, these times are also a time when I miss what used to be. To be honest, I do miss my time in RI, not for anything, but for the simplicity of those days. My life was a good balance between certainty and uncertainty, and above all I was buffered from whatever contact I had with the crueler realities of the world or human nature, by all my friends who were always there for me. Secondary school is a wonderful place to make friends, naive enough to take the first step to trust each other unhesistatingly, and yet mature enough for that friendship to blossom and be true.
Now, my life is different, and the stoic assurance of a regular routine that one is content with just isn't there. 2 months down the road, I am still faced with many fundamental decsions to make, rooted in a number of crossroads. Maybe in two years, I will be saying the same thing of RJ as of RI, but well, that is being cynical isn't it? Life is more complicated, tiringly complicated, and my buffer,my safety blanket is so diffused.
It is in times like these, that I realsie even more acutely than ever how important my bloved class 4R was to me. Comparing the workloads then and now, I don't think I work any ahrder now, but it was more bearable then. Yes, maybe it should be attributed to the new envirnment, the new contexts, but well, when Alex had nothing to do yesterday, and came to sit with my class and I, just joining the conversation, I was just so happy. I was high. And Alex, even though he wasn't supposedly the closer ones to me last year, yesterday I just felt as if I had some vestiages of farmilarity in the barren terrain of uncertainty. It was a tree I could cling on to.
I really love 4R, in spite of all the conflicts etc. I hope you all will know that.